Greetings! To mark the rebirth of this Blog, I bring you Brand new writings from my Fevered Brain!
Note before we start:
Funky Monkey (me) speaks in GREEN.
Sursum Ursa (Awesome person you probably already follow) speaks in BLUE.
Happy Viking (Metal Dude you should be following) speaks in RED.
Our villain (Ze Maven of ze Eventide) speaks in PURPLE.
So without further ado, I present: Dawn of the Eventide! (Chapter 1)
An ordinary
day, at the World-famous House of Love, headquarters of the Heroic
Legion of Positive Reviewers. Sursum Ursa and her cats (twin black
Tigers) John & Sherlock are out in the back garden, enjoying the
sun. Funky Monkey is down in the Training room, taking target
practice (gotta keep them twin gun skills sharp) and Happy Viking is
Jamming in the Great hall, blowing out a Maxi-stack of amps with the
latest Metal craze.
Like I said,
an ordinary day. What is not so Ordinary are the dark stormclouds
rolling across the horizon, like the beating of a thousand pairs of
wings. An army of bats, enough to block out the sun.
Thus begins
a tale of invasion!
“Oh
man, Again?”
Yes,
again. Look, I know. But this time there's vampires!
“Vampires?
Sweet. Nothin' better'n crushin' a few suckheads of an afternoon.
Plus we got one o' the almighty's own on the roster, makes for a hell
of a ride! Tell your tale, O scribe of legend! And omit not the
mighty Hammer of the Happy Viking!”
Okay...
So,
it was another seemingly ordinary day, when a thousand bats flew from
the eastern coasts, to bring pain and panic unto the Legionnaires.
Their Mistress, the until-that-time-decidedly-nonchalant Maven of the
Eventide, had tired of the constant attacks against the Nostalgia
Chick, a close Personal friend, at least in a previous life. To this
end, she had sent this wave of her messengers to blot out the sun,
and facilitate her conveyance.
It
was unfortunate then, that none were in the Briefing room to see
this. Of course, what with Ursa being outside and playing with her
cats, she was the first to notice. She glanced up at the sky.
“Weird,” she commented, “the
forecast didn't say anything about... Bats?” Surmising that
something was wrong, Ursa presently made her way to the Briefing
room.
“Main
screen!” the Mainscreen flickered into life, showing a view
from above. There was no mistaking it, a Thousand bats were hovering
in unison about the House of Love. This was not good.
Thinking
quickly, Ursa hit the silent alarm. In the Training room and the
Great Hall, the others immediately got the signal, and made their way
to the briefing room.
Funky
was first to arrive of the two. “So what's
the situation?”
“We
seem to have a Bat infestation.”
“I
told you, I'll clean out my Batman back issues when the pile reaches
the line.”
Ursa snerked. "Not what
I meant. Take a look at the mainscreen."
Funky glanced toward the screen. “Yup,
they're bats alright. So, what's to do?”
“About what exactly?”
Viking always liked to make a grand entrance.
“We appear to have a
bat infestation, Mister Happy Viking.”
“Dude, you forget to
clear out your Batman comics again?”
Ursa rolled her eyes.
“One would think you'd tire of that
joke.”
“You
been bitin' my material again, Funkster?”
“Just
direct your attention to the Main Screen, Mr Viking.”
Viking looked over the screeching cloud, as it
edged past Camera 107, the western tip of the complex. The view
automatically switched to Camera 448, The Overground mansion.
“Bats,
man. Bats mean either trouble, or Vampires.”
“Vampires?”
“Damn
suckheads were all over back in 1886. And boy howdy do they love the
Frozen North!”
“None of which, I fear,
has anything to do with our current predic-”
Ursa was abruptly cut off when the Main screen
inexplicably flickered and flashed to a familiar image, That of the
Maven of the Eventide...
“Zo, you sink to
sprread lies and half-truce about my dear friend, ze Nosssss....
Talgia Chick, eh? Ve shall jussst Ssee about Zat!”
“And just what in the
name of that little blue box that is bigger on the inside do you mean
by THAT, Madame Maven? Why, I'm quite certain that none of us have
ever-”
“Actually...”
Funky admitted, Sheepishly.
“Tell me you
haven't...” Viking shot him a glance that almost screamed
“You DENSE MotherF**ker!”
“Sorry guys...”
“Well Frak,”
Ursa cursed under her breath. “Oh,
dash it all, let's just deal with this. John! Sherlock! Yip Yip!”
With that, the Twin tiger forms swirled and
coiled, becoming Twin Armoured Bracers for Sursum Ursa. “By
thunder, let's do some damage to this godless suckpuppy!”
End of Chapter 1.
