Tuesday, 24 November 2009

On Abortion (Caution: Swears!)

Y'know what? I'm tired of *BOTH* sides using Ad Hominem and emotivity on Abortion.

So, I'm gonna break it down for ya.


So you got knocked up, and Baby-daddy's all "F**k this noise", and he ups and goes bye-bye. Well grow some damn Eggs, Drop the Sprog, find the b*st**d and wring him dry because he couldn't be bothered to stick a condom on it. Or did your pill fail? Either way, Double the Contraception, improve the chances of not getting pregnant.


Get a f**king life. Sure, Abortion is the termination of an innocent life. But then again, think on this.

Ain't cows innocent?
How 'bout Ostriches/Emus?

Yeah, "Food" animals. They're innocent. Ya don't see them killing each other, rolling around in tanks, settin' up makeshift bombs in the cattleshed. And you eat their flesh. Way to go, Hannibal Lecter! You don't have a leg to stand on. So either go veggie, or clam the hell up.

As for me? Well, I think it shouldn't get to a point where abortion needs to come into the picture in the first place. More and better sex ed, More contraception, and let's lose the "No sex please, We're British" attitude.

Think of it like this:
Less teen pregnancy = Less wayward chavs.
Less wayward chavs = better Britain.
Better Britain = Profit!

(this space to clear your mental palate for the next part of the blog)

Also, today was my 30th Birthday. Not bad eh? Considering I never thought I'd make it to 20, I'm doing pretty good to get this far. Then again, I still don't expect to reach 40.

Oh well. Here's to me! Cheers! :)

Sunday, 12 July 2009

Concerning "The Touch" (a little late, but still...)

So, "Sam's Theme". (Just to clue you in, this is Stan Bush reworking "The Touch" for the Latest Transformers Movie)

I cannot bring myself to provide a link, as it pains me that he has lost the touch. And yet, for all this talk, there is still affection.

I mean sure, we've raged, and this new madness is no reflection of the thing that meant so much in our childhoods. But this song, this song! Even if this new recording is Heresy and flame (and it certainly is heresy), we will always have the original. Look upon this for yourself.

We do not speak now of what is, for it is monstrous. Let us instead remember the glorious days of what has gone before, and rejoice for the lives of those long past, and the days when we had the touch.


Sunday, 7 June 2009

Annotations II: Your Rights as defined under EU Law...

Yes friends and well-wishers, I have returned to humourously annotate something else!

This time, we explore Your rights in Europe!

1) The right to life.

Goes without saying. You deserve to live, whoever you are. Next!

2) Freedom from torture and degrading treatment.

Again, What can I say? You deserve to not be tortured, or degraded. Step away from the whips and chains, You FREAK!

3) Freedom from slavery and forced labour

Although if disapproving types from "Tunbridge Wells" had their way, there'd be a certain subsection of society suddenly deprived of this freedom...

4) The right to liberty.

Too big a concept. NEXT!

5) The right to a fair trial.

Because Innocent until proven Guilty still works for me.

First 5, So far, so dull. Onward!

6) The right not to be punished for something that wasn’t a crime when you did it.

For example, Legalise "Da 'erb" today, and even if they re-criminalise it later, you can smoke away while it's legal. Or another example, fill yer boots with Pirate MP3s while the law's fuzzy on it, and they can't touch ya for havin' em once there's a position. Now get busy!

7) The right to respect for private and family life.

Yeah, Don't diss my family, man! Dey gonna bus' u up! ;P

8) Freedom of thought, conscience and religion, and freedom to express your beliefs.

You can say what you want, But I don't have to like it!

9) Freedom of expression.

I'm guessing this means art. W00t for naked Lesbians painted in rainbow swirls, Late night on Channel 4! (ah, the 80s...)

10) Freedom of assembly and association.

The right to Protest! Down with Trousers! Up with Miniskirts! No to Mondays! Ban the Banana! C64 Forever!

...oops, I've gone too far. NEXT!

10) The right to marry and to start a family.

Poignant one, this. Them Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender folks, see, they don't exactly have this right, even in Modern Britain. Oh sure, there's Civil Unions and what-have-you, but it ain't exactly the thing, now is it?

Or is it?

Hmm, Pretty uncontroversial, at least until the last one. Pretty boring too. Onward!

11) the right not to be discriminated against in respect of these rights and freedoms.

I *am* used to it, stop waving it about like it was the new fashion! Just let me know if you're GLBT/ethnically-sourced before I go off and say something silly. Oh, and I do other accents, and I am quite good at them, please try not to be offended.

12) The right to peaceful enjoyment of your property.

Like, you can get some ignorants nicked for Hassling you while you're reading Watchmen on a park bench. Fun stuff! :)

13) The right to an education.

So pay attention! Sure, Handwriting ain't a whole bunch these days, but still, Reading's important. Learning to use big words is always fun too! And the Maths thing, numbers and the like. Underrated if you ask me.

Plus of course, SCIENCE! Saviour of the future (Shut it creationists), shining (if occasionally slightly shambolic) paragon of reason, Science needs to be taught less dull. Anyway, Next!

14) The right to participate in free elections.

You vote for 'em, you elect 'em, you don't complain when they turn out to be as bad as the other lot! Or if they actually manage to make things better, you can bask in the pride of knowing you voted for them.

15) The right not to be subjected to the death penalty.

Seems fair in light of miscarriages of justice, and crazy in light of a serial Killer being caught. But really, it's just a cover-ya-butt for the Justice systems.

And there we shall have it. Not as funny as the Annotated "Rape List", but heartfelt at least. Tune in some time soon, when I sing some numbers above zero (Disclaimer: May not occur)

DISCLAIMER: No offence is meant towards the good and free-thinking people of Tunbridge Wells.

Friday, 1 May 2009

Interesting Imagery

As I said, Interesting imagery appears here! If one catches your eye, leave a comment and I'll give you an answer.